Be selfish! Be undeniable!
People have blinkered knowledge of being selfish and that is why they stamped it a negative trait. But the reality is shockingly another way around. And you can take the edge over others because most do not know the positive outcome selfishness can bring.
But first, we need to get our skewing thoughts about selfishness balanced. According to the Oxford Dictionary, selfishness is defined as;
An excessive and exclusive concern for oneself: seeking or focusing on one’s welfare and interests without the regard of others.
This definition justifies selfishness as a negative trait. But if we eradicate “excessive” and “without regard of others” from the above definition then;
An exclusive concern of oneself: seeking or focusing on one’s welfare and interests.
This definition of selfishness makes it self-caring and self-happiness.
Pleasing others and seeking everyone’s approval is to the detriment of your happiness. You cannot satisfy everyone. People will find ways to criticize you. Prioritizing your happiness first instead of seeking others’ approval does not make you an awful person. It makes you content and resilient.
Here I have mentioned the benefits of being selfish. These 3 good reasons highlight selfishness as a “Must have skill”.
1. Self-Protection
No one can look out for you the way you look after yourself. You are cognitive of yourself and only you know how to make your life great. If you cannot take a stand for yourself, no one else will.
Just like client-lawyer relations. If the client is not assertive and withdraws the case, the lawyer cannot do anything despite the high winning potential of that case. YOUR case has potential. YOU have the potential. Stand for yourself. If it means being selfish then it is not a bad thing.
1. Leadership
People with selfishness have higher prestige than those with altruistic personalities.
Fact!
An experiment in the behavioral lab of Stanford Graduate School of Business proved that an individual who is more inclined toward his self-interest and self-care has a higher chance of attaining a leadership position than those who are collaborative and generous.
Selfishness is acting in your care.
You know what you can do and what you cannot do.
You know what will can be an opportunity and what can be a burden.
You know YOUR self-worth. You value what you have.
From a larger perceptive, you know what your team can do and what will be the best in the team’s interest. This reinforces your leadership trait and people can see it.
People do not want to be led by a soft heart altruistic person but they want to be led by a leader who is assertive and direct in group interest and can take a firm stand for his decisions.
1. Mental Health
Psychiatrists say that selfish people rarely suffer from mental illness. The question was asked; why it is so?
The answer was interesting.
They said it is normal for selfish people not to drain themselves in pleasing others.
Other people value everyone’s opinion and criticism. They transition themselves between their true selves and selves they think others value. It makes them mentally depressed.
While the selfish people are acknowledged the fact that people are hard to please and they would find WAYS to criticize. Instead of being a pushover for everyone’s favor and saying “yes” to every work with the fear of “What will people say”, selfishness limits your choices and streamlines your interests. You have a rounder perspective of what will work for you and you out your 100% in doing that.
Even if things did not as planned, you won’t blame for being wronged by someone else. Instead, you take the blame with a grain of salt and strive to correct it.
No depression of things going wrong. No fear of people’s criticism. No pressure of doing this and that. No mental detriment.
Long story short. Selfishness is your protection reinforcing your leadership with a healthy mind.
Be selfish!
But remember. Selfishness is;
An exclusive concern of oneself: seeking or focusing on one’s welfare and interests.
No excessiveness. Not without regard for others.
